soulsearching
Today I'm gonna let my class go a little early and head to South Philly to see the Phillies. A friend from the old workplace sent a ticket to me via Phebe. I've been dragging the last few days, really aching, maybe chills and a fever,had to take a nap when I got back home TUESDAY. This morning I was honkey hollywooding down the path feeling like I used to 3o years age. I don't know why, but I like it. Got 18 out of a possible 20 readin' and writing about Louise Erdrich's Red Convertible. The other class is clicking too;even my music man James Taylor is starting to come to class and submit essays. He told me he wasn't coming back next year; his band is going on the road. First gig in California, but he told me he was gonna finish the semester and earn the credit anyway. I'd already decided to cut back to one class next year,and I still think I will but it was a jolt of good juice. I still intend to cut back;otherwise I'll be cutting corners with them or myself somewhere along the line...Dreams are wierder than ever after not dreaming for a long while...The classroom is quiet because they are writing and thinking. Ok, I can deal with that, but I miss the give and take and the openness of several summer classes In Lberg and many evening classes in the city of brotherly...Last night was a dream about the old work place brought on by a departmental election and Phebe bringing me the vote for my candiate spiels I reviewed my last dozen or so years there after I decided to get back to teaching only and leave the Deaning behind. I do not want to dream that dream again. What grace giving awareness have I learned from those painful days? One thing gnaws at me. I did not know a dear friend is dying of lung cancer. Phebe says she has signed my name to a couple of cards. Pat was a good friend. We acted in plays together. I scripted a piece that we used as a springbord into a play Called I want you to Say..We called ourselves The Bonegas,which means,I think ,Cow pies in Spanish. We did dramatic readings on Death and Dying. We did something called Something Rich and Strange. She played Caliban, I played Prospero. In th ebeginning we were colleagues,then she left for a year or two and then came back at which time I was The Division Director who played a role in hiring her. We worked on on I want you to Say through the Spring and Summer, and it was good. After the play Phebe said to me:you son of a bitch, you stole my play". I know she resented the time I had spent with Pat and Adele and Daphne and Dennis. Ned was there too. I decided to curtail my dramatic activities as a kind of an act of love. ..Pat was a co;owner of a Motel in Barnegat Light. We stayed there one year, and other years we were in the area, I would stop by and visit with Pat. She is a warm loving entity within me. I want to see her in the near future.